Thankful for Friends

This morning as I spent my daily time with God, I found myself thanking him for all of the wonderful friends that he has placed in my life. When I usually pray, I’ll ask for some things and thank him for some things. I want to make sure I’m thanking Him just as much as I’m asking things of Him. But today I thanked Him for the friends that are physically still in Honduras and then for those that have moved away. I don’t usually thank Him for all the friends he’s placed in my life. I usually thank Him for the friends that have stayed in Honduras, not the friends that have moved away too. I just noticed that I was actually happy to have so many great friends, whether they are still in country or far away. It was nice to be happy and thankful about this.

I had always complained about friends leaving me. I had always cried out to God asking Him how He could have them get close to me and then move away. I hate goodbyes and saying goodbye to the closest of friends is quite difficult. I've had seven of my closest friends move away. I could also count the day I moved to Honduras and left my closest friend behind as number eight but I think it’s harder for the people left behind than the people who leave. It’s so much more painful when you have to stay as the people you love leave, and so that’s why I say seven. But, back to the point, I would ask God over and over again why He would let those people leave. I never understood why He let them go. I definitely cried over several of these people’s departures, not sure when I would see them again or even if I would see them again. That kind of realization hurts. What person would want someone you love to leave without any certainty of meeting them again? So I repeatedly wondered why God would allow this to happen to me, especially when I so desperately wanted and needed close friends.

I feel really foolish for this constant wondering why these people left, mainly because all of these people are still in my life and I am still in contact with them. I also feel foolish because I was so hooked on focusing on the people leaving that I missed the people that have stayed or the new friends I have made as the others moved away. I was sad that my closest friends left so I didn't see all the amazing friends I currently have in Honduras nor the fact that I’m still in contact with the people who've left. I’m not speaking to all seven every day nor every month but I’ll say hello and ask questions about how they’re doing every once and a while. I speak to some more than others but it isn't mandatory to talk to them every moment of every day. I’ll see pictures and statuses about their lives and I’m happy that I get to see that. I've seen most of them after they left and there isn't any awkwardness, everything is great. For some, I’m not as close to them as I was when they still lived in Honduras but the ones that I consider best friends, I’m still close to.

I can’t believe I questioned God’s plan. I mean people do it all the time; we question everything God is doing as if He’s against us. Which, when it’s phrased like that, sounds silly. I question things that God is doing instead of just laying back and allowing Him to take charge and then follow His lead. And when I say I’m letting Him take control, I tend to hold on a bit to the thing I say I’m letting go of. Why? I guess it’s just hard to think of someone taking full control and to trust that person wholeheartedly. But He isn't just someone, He is the Someone. So no matter how many people move away, whether I stay close to them or not, I shouldn't question His planning. Instead I should be thankful for all the people who are here in Honduras with me and then be thankful for all the friends who have moved away and who've still stayed friends with me. Yes it’s sad to have people move but that shouldn't be the reason why I don’t trust that He has it all worked out. There shouldn't be any reason why I wouldn't trust Him. I should just trust Him. He made me, loves me, takes care of me, planned my life for me, and watches over me. I love Him and want to follow Him to the best of my ability, wholeheartedly. Love and trust go hand in hand, so if I love Him then I must trust Him too. So from this day forward I will trust God with anything and everything that comes my way. It’ll be hard but nonetheless I will try my best to trust Him in all that I do.

Goodbye, until next time!