The Perfect Future

                It’s funny how when you’re little you think you have all your life planned out and perfect. I know when I was little, like five or six years old, I knew exactly what I would be and what I would do when I ‘grew up’. I said that when I became a teenager I would be a famous singer and I would stay a singer until my twenties, then I would get married and have kids and thus stop being a singer. It was a perfect plan. I thought this all the way until I was ten. Then we moved and I realized that my perfect plan was going to have to change.

               

Now I realize that being a famous singer is a whole lot of work and determination, it isn't purely talent. I realize that I have to meet the man who’ll be my husband, he doesn't grow on a tree (I didn't think that when I was younger, don’t worry!), and I may or may not have kids right away after I’m marry. I realized that perfect plans aren't always so perfect. In my mind, my future was set and planned and perfect but it wasn't my actual future. God had my real future planned out. He knew I would move to another country and He would then plan every day for me, so I wouldn't have to worry. He knows where I’m going to go for college and who I’ll marry and what job I’ll get. He has the ultimate perfect plan.

                I think every person hates to not know what is going on or to not know what is planned. It’s hard sometimes to think of someone else planning everything for me and knowing everything that will happen. I don’t like to not have control and to not be able to plan. Yet I must give it up. God knows what is best for me, whether I know it or not at the time of an event that I like or dislike. So when I think of Him having an ultimate perfect plan for me, I get scared that it isn't what I want. Am I serious? Am I actually going to question His perfect plan for me? I shouldn't and I try not to but sometimes I wonder what my future will be and what is going to happen. If this boy doesn't like me now, is there someone better? Can there be someone better for me than him? If I don’t get accepted to this college will I choose the second one? What if I don’t get accepted to any? How am I going to leave my family? How am I going to afford visiting them? These are just some general questions that I may ask myself, wondering if this perfect plan of His is really perfect. It sounds silly to question the God of all Creation, but I’m curious and a little scared of the unknown. I think most of us are and we shouldn't be. He’s God. He obviously knows what is best and therefore won’t ‘mess up,’ I mean, he formed us and knew us before our own mothers did.

                I tend to take things into my own hands, trying to rule my future, and then I mess something up. I should just let God take control and hand it all to Him. I really hate when I don’t. I end up sad and disappointed when I try to do things my way. Why can’t I just let Him do it? He’s offering to take the worry about tomorrow away, so why do I want to keep it? I honestly don’t know why, I don’t have the answer. I just want to know what’s going to happen and I want to know that all those above questions, for example, will have set answers.  But I don’t know and I may never know. But, although it sounds cheesy, don’t worry.  I may not have my whole life figured out, but Someone does. I should feel safe knowing that and only that. Even if it’s hard to let Him take care of my future I must stop trying to control it, it doesn't work. I've probably said this a hundred times, but God I’m handing you the control. And you know, I’ll probably say this another hundred times, but it’s okay, God will always be there waiting for me to say it.

                Goodbye, until next time!